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Not a Magic Pill ....

Discussion in 'LSD Microdosing' started by VanillaBoy, Jan 5, 2018.

  1. VanillaBoy

    VanillaBoy New Member

    22
    9
    Dec 13, 2017
    I read Paul's emails when he sends them. The best one I ever saw was "Not a Magic Pill ..." It came just at the right moment. I'd been following my one-day-on, two-days-off course for about three weeks when it arrived, and I'd taken a small dose an hour or so before it arrived.

    It made me gasp. It was exactly what I'd been thinking about the whole experiment.

    The paradigm for SSRIs and other medically accepted anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, and anti this-and-that medicines is that you take them and you feel better. Or at least, the bad feelings go away.

    When I read all about people getting into the flow state with microdosing, becoming creative, achieving so much more, I was quite excited. Maybe I could just take a pill and all of a sudden I'd write an opera or something.

    But it didn't really work like that. The first time I took it, I felt twitchy and nervous. So I got on my bike, went to the pool, swam a kilo and felt better. The second time, I found myself immersed in Facebook and the news, obsessively reading stories about Trump, Brexit, murder stories, celebrity gossip. And I started to become aware that it was making me feel really bad. But I kept on doing it for the next few days, until the next dose a few days later. I did it again and still felt really bad. I told myself I should stop, but I didn't. But I was becoming increasingly aware that it was making me feel really bad.

    And a few days later, I got hold of a strong software lock for my computer and my phone, and completely blocked all sites that I wasted time on. I actually felt something like withdrawals for a week or so, an urge to pick up the phone and click on the icon. When I did that, I got a little message saying "Action not allowed," and the app shut down. So after a week or so, I stopped clicking on the icon. About three weeks later, I haven't spent any time on social media and only skim news headlines in the evening.

    To fill the time in the morning over my coffee, I either write in my journal or read my entries from the previous days. It's become almost as much of an obsession as news and social media.

    And I'm finding the same thing with writing the opera. It doesn't just write itself. It's still kind of painful. I still get blocks. But I find that if I don't work on it everyday, then I feel bad. Or rather, I feel good when I do work on it. It's becoming an obsessive good habit.

    Neuroplasticity. Creating space for change. Rewiring.

    Not a magic pill, but it gives you space. It's not so much that it makes you feel good, or stops you feeling bad. It puts you in touch with how you feel, which creates the possibility of doing positive things that make you feel good.

    PS. I'm not really writing an opera. That's a coded metaphor for some project I'm working.
     
    Norm Eltny likes this.
  2. Queen Of Something

    Queen Of Something Member

    37
    4
    Oct 19, 2017
    England
    I understand this.
    After taking mushrooms/lsd I feel more awake , more aware of the world and how controlling it is. I try not to read the news anymore because I feel like everyone around me is controlled or lying to me. It sounds like paranoia but I don't feel negative about it? I much prefer this view of the world because I form much stronger bonds with people who either feel the same way or understand what's going on.
    I'll admit, I can get a lonely feeling sometimes, seeing people just going about life, aware of the lies and not caring, un-open minded and accepting of that, not wanting to explore the psychically world or mental world. What bliss to go about life unaware of your own mortality and unaware how terrible people can be.

    (What I'm actually trying to say without rambling )
    I feel microdosing kinda stop the auto-pilot in you from flying. You are suddenly aware of chooses and doors and options you were slightly blinded by, and depending on the person and how they have lived their life. It can either be scary or blissful.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2018
    VanillaBoy likes this.

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